Not long ago, I met with a couple going through infertility – and a lot of other struggles. The husband said his life feels “like riding a flaming motorcycle down a dark highway at 100 mph.” That’s not a bad metaphor for life feeling totally out-of-control.
I vividly remember the same kind of feeling when we were going through infertility. My father had just died, my mother was getting a bone marrow transplant, and I was 2,000 miles from home taking care of her. I was also taking fertility meds, scheduling IUIs, and sneaking bloodwork at the oncology clinic… all while trying to juggle a demanding job, an impatient boss, a frustrated client, and a (temporarily) long-distance marriage. It was crazy!
I joked with my sister that, sooner or later, I was going to hit a wall and fall in a heap on the ground. She responded, “Are you kidding? You’ve broken through the wall. You’re in totally uncharted territory.”
Does that sound familiar at all?
It’s scary to admit when things feel totally out-of-control. The bad news keeps coming and coming. Meanwhile, you are going as hard and fast as humanly possible, knowing this is not sustainable. You know it’s just a matter of time ‘til you come apart under all the pressure. But, you also know you can’t let that happen because what would happen next? It’s too much to consider. So, you do the only thing you can: keep struggling.
There is an alternative. Try taking a leap of faith.
Here are three reasons to consider doing it:
1) You’re tired of trying to get out ahead of your problems. You’re tired of trying to do it all alone. You’re tired of being tired! A leap of faith means rest. The “leap” doesn’t actually require much effort at all. It’s more like an exhale of faith. A letting go of faith. A “here, God, you take it” of faith. Can you imagine a moment like that? A few hours? A day? How might that give you a chance to recover from all you’ve been through?
2) You’re not in control. You never have been. With infertility, it’s just not possible. Rather than continuing to fight the truth, why not make peace with it? Admit the obvious, and then turn to the only One who has control. If you can believe He exists and that He is who He says He is, then the leap of faith only requires you to remember – that He is near you, He cares deeply, and He is insuring “all things work together for good.” Trust, and leave the details to the One with control.
3) You can find the kind of strength you truly need. You’ve shown persistence, determination and resourcefulness already. But you still haven’t reached your goal. Take a big leap of faith and build “muscles” like confidence, hope, and even joy. These are the ones that will sustain you until your hope becomes reality.
“Leap, and the net will appear.” That’s the advice I was given years ago as I contemplated turning from self-reliance to something more like God-reliance. It was terrifying advice. And hugely helpful.
Now, it’s your turn.
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