Ten Years and Worth It: One Couple’s Story

Alesha and Josh were high school sweethearts.  They married at 20 and conceived their first baby after 18 months of trying.  They lost the baby ten weeks later.  Very disappointed but not defeated, they spent the next two years trying to conceive again.  But, nothing.

They consulted the experts.  Tests revealed Alesha had a pituitary gland tumor, so she had it removed.  Then a reproductive endocrinologist discovered endometriosis, so she had a laparoscopy.  They tried Clomid, then IUI’s, but still no baby.  Five years into their journey, they did their first IVF.  Alesha got pregnant… but lost the baby.  Then, they did a frozen cycle… without success.

“Both of us are teachers, so we had a limited budget,” Alesha explained.  They’d taken a second mortgage on their house, but even so, IVF consumed all the money they had to spend.  Their extended family began holding garage sales to help them.  Alesha’s father even sold his beloved Harley.  “But we still didn’t get pregnant,” Alesha said, “and I felt like we let them all down.”

Determined to keep trying, they decided to relocate to Arkansas, a state that offers infertility insurance.  They sold their home, moved their worldly goods, and found new jobs.  Then, they got a call from INCIID.  Months earlier, Alesha had applied for a grant — but she’d never heard back and had assumed that meant, “No.”

Amazingly, they’d been chosen.  “That was when God told me, ‘August.’  I kept trying to figure out what that meant….”

They were matched with the Sher Institute in Las Vegas.  Alesha got pregnant, but she lost the baby a couple months later.  The Sher Institute found a creative way to finance another try, enrolling them in a research study that covered the costs of all medical procedures and most meds.  On August 3^rd, they transferred four embryos.  Alesha conceived triplets.  They lost one… but miraculously, the other two survived.

Emily Lynn and Abigail Grace were born exactly ten years after Josh and Alesha began trying.

Why did they have to slog through a ten-year obstacle course to become a family?  What was the purpose of all that struggling and suffering?  All that moving, and job-hunting, and fund-raising?  Alesha believes it was, at least in part, about obedience.  And learning to trust God completely.

Rick Warren’s global bestseller, The Purpose-Driven Life, opens with this four-word perspective:  “It’s not about you.”  Warren explains, “The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness.  It’s far greater than your family….  You were made for God, not vice versa, and life is about letting God use you for His purposes….”

After all the tests, surgeries, injections, inseminations, harvests, transfers  and miscarriages, Alesha and Josh think they understand part of God’s purpose.  They sense Him calling them to help other couples make the journey.  That’s why they are starting an infertility Bible study using  the book Pregnant With Hope.

“God puts people in my path constantly who are going through infertility,” said Alesha.  “One day, in church, I knew:  it’s time – you need to do this.”  She started researching infertility support and found there was nothing for infertile couples in Oklahoma (now their home).

Later this month, Josh and Alesha will host their first gathering.  They’re understandably nervous, but also excited to see how God will use them and their story to help other couples.  “Letting go  and giving God complete control made all the difference for us.  That’s what we want to help other couples understand.  If you give it to God, there is always hope.”



The Happiest Ending

I met Kirsten and Mike when they were well into their infertility journey.  They’d had a spontaneous miscarriage at 18 weeks.  “When you go through a miscarriage that’s further along in a pregnancy,” Kirsten said, “a big, huge hole opens up in your life.  You feel like you’re completely isolated.  You know in your mind that other people have gone through this, but you never expect it to happen to you.”

When they felt ready to try again, they had four unsuccessful IUIs and an IVF cycle that resulted in no embryos.  Their doctor, a well-known infertility expert, told them they had infertility “of unknown origin” – and then dropped a bomb.  As Mike recalled, “The doctor actually said to us, ‘You will never have kids.’  It took every bit of emotional strength to try to get through it.  Kirsten was nuts.  She was hitting herself and saying, ‘I’m worthless!’  It was really tough.”

Their doctor pushed them toward egg donation.  Mike was willing to think seriously about international adoption.  But Kirsten felt a need to try IVF one last time.  “I needed a period at the end of the sentence that said, ‘It will not work.’”  They found a doctor at Cornell who was trying a new IVF protocol.

When Kirsten woke up from the retrieval, they’d recovered ten eggs.  “Now, there was hope,” Mike remembered.  A couple days later, there were five embryos.   After the transfer, they flew home and waited for test results.  The call came.  She was pregnant.   “I didn’t relax the entire pregnancy,” said Mike.  “It was horrible – I was so anxious something would happen.  I didn’t exhale until the babies came.”

Two of them.  A boy and a girl.

“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! [Eph 3:20]”

Their dismal track record indicated no chance.  Their doctor said, “not possible.”  Their common sense told them:  not realistic.  Their fear repeated, “not happening.”  But their faith affirmed: “I still believe.” And God breathed life into their hope.

The story doesn’t end there.

They brought their twins by to visit me last fall.  Laughing as they shared the news, they told me, “We’re pregnant again!”  This time, it was completely natural.  Unplanned.  Definitely unexpected.  They baptized her a week ago.  She’s a total gift from God.

He can do anything.

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Find many more resources & cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com

What’s the Purpose of a Ten Year Journey?

Alesha and Josh were high school sweethearts.  They married at 20 and conceived their first baby after 18 months of trying.  They lost the baby ten weeks later.  Very disappointed but not defeated, they spent the next two years trying to conceive again.  But, nothing.

They consulted the experts.  Tests revealed Alesha had a pituitary gland tumor, so she had it removed.  Then a reproductive endocrinologist discovered endometriosis, so she had a laparoscopy.  They tried Clomid, then IUI’s, but still no baby.  Five years into their journey, they did their first IVF.  Alesha got pregnant… but lost the baby.  Then, they did a frozen cycle… without success.

“Both of us are teachers, so we had a limited budget,” Alesha explained.  They’d taken a second mortgage on their house, but even so, IVF consumed all the money they had to spend.  Their extended family began holding garage sales to help them.  Alesha’s father even sold his beloved Harley.  “But we still didn’t get pregnant,” Alesha said, “and I felt like we let them all down.”

Determined to keep trying, they decided to relocate to Arkansas, a state that offers infertility insurance.  They sold their home, moved their worldly goods, and found new jobs.  Then, they got a call from INCIID.  Months earlier, Alesha had applied for a grant — but she’d never heard back and had assumed that meant, “No.”

Amazingly, they’d been chosen.  “That was when God told me, ‘August.’  I kept trying to figure out what that meant….”

They were matched with the Sher Institute in Las Vegas.  Alesha got pregnant, but she lost the baby a couple months later.  The Sher Institute found a creative way to finance another try, enrolling them in a research study that covered the costs of all medical procedures and most meds.  On August 3^rd, they transferred four embryos.  Alesha conceived triplets.  They lost one… but miraculously, the other two survived.

Emily Lynn and Abigail Grace were born exactly ten years after Josh and Alesha began trying.

Why did they have to slog through a ten-year obstacle course to become a family?  What was the purpose of all that struggling and suffering?  All that moving, and job-hunting, and fund-raising?  Alesha believes it was, at least in part, about obedience.  And learning to trust God completely.

Rick Warren’s global bestseller, The Purpose-Driven Life, opens with this four-word perspective:  “It’s not about you.”  Warren explains, “The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness.  It’s far greater than your family….  You were made for God, not vice versa, and life is about letting God use you for His purposes….”

After all the tests, surgeries, injections, inseminations, harvests, transfers  and miscarriages, Alesha and Josh think they understand part of God’s purpose.  They sense Him calling them to help other couples make the journey.  That’s why they are starting an infertility Bible study using  the book Pregnant With Hope.

“God puts people in my path constantly who are going through infertility,” said Alesha.  “One day, in church, I knew:  it’s time – you need to do this.”  She started researching infertility support and found there was nothing for infertile couples in Oklahoma (now their home).

Later this month, Josh and Alesha will host their first gathering.  They’re understandably nervous, but also excited to see how God will use them and their story to help other couples.  “Letting go  and giving God complete control made all the difference for us.  That’s what we want to help other couples understand.  If you give it to God, there is always hope.”