The Ultimate Luxury

After a frantic start this morning, I decided to go to Whole Foods for a late breakfast. I tucked into the corner booth — as far as possible from the noise of checkout registers — and began to read my newspaper. I could feel myself starting to unwind. About 10 minutes later, an employee walked over and said, “Most of the people who come here are on their phones, on their laptops, having a meeting before work…. They all seem so stressed. It’s nice to see someone relax.”

As he walked away, I thought to myself, it’s the ultimate luxury.

I don’t know what you consider a “fair share” of life’s challenges, but I could certainly argue that I’ve had mine. Looking back over the arc of those many experiences, I have to say that each one has taught me to turn to God sooner and sooner. I guess I’ve been a slow learner — because I’ve had lots of chances to practice! — but it’s true: I’ve learned to release everything to Him and His plan, trusting that His ultimate purpose is to bless me and bless others through me. Whatever the details of the outcome, I’ve discovered I can trust Him in the midst of chaotic uncertainty. And so, I can actually relax. Maybe not completely… and maybe not for long… but even for a few minutes….

What.  A.  Gift.

Do people keep telling you to relax? That it’s easier to conceive if you’re not so stressed? Which just makes you more stressed?! Would it seem like an incredible gift to be in the midst of infertility and yet be able to relax? Able to trust that the One who loves you has things under control? Even if you don’t see how that could be possible?

Then consider a different approach. Call it an experiment in trust. How about, for just a day, letting God be vigilant and in control so you can rest. And maybe even, relax a little. Not too much, if that’s too hard. Just for a few minutes…, but long enough to realize that you can let go and He won’t.

My sister used to say to me, “Leap and the net will appear.” Wow, that sounded scary — definitely not relaxing. It was her way of telling me that I couldn’t be sure of God’s faithfulness without testing my reliance on it. To get from my circumstances to peace, I would have to take a leap of faith.

So today, think about taking your own leap. Whether it’s large or small matters less than that you let go long enough to realize that the Lord has got you in the palm of His hand.

“Do not let your heart be troubled, and do not be afraid.”  – John 14:27

=================================================

Want more resources, help and hope? Visit www.pregnantwithhope,info.

 

Tired of This Journey

Ruth’s comment on my last post read, in part:  “I’m weary and tired of this journey….”  Soon after reading it, I read these words in my husband’s devotional book, Jesus Calling:

“Come to me for rest and refreshment.  The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary.”

There are moments like that of such grace, such gentle tenderness, that it’s absolutely clear to me that the Lord understands everything we’re going through.  Still, when the suffering continues, when exhaustion threatens to leave us in a heap on the ground, we’re tempted to conclude:  He may understand, but He sure doesn’t care.

Consider the next few sentences from today’s devotion:

“See it [your exhaustion] as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life.  Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different.  Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be.”

That means, let go.

You have to find a way to make peace with the idea that this journey is no accident.  You are here for a reason.  It’s where Jesus wants you to be — for a purpose.  Struggling to stay in faith without knowing precisely what that purpose is remains one of the greatest challenges of infertility.

“Much of your weariness results from your constant battle against the world, the flesh and the devil.”

Sound too strong?  Even melodramatic? Think of it this way…

Are you sick of magazine cover stories about pregnant teens?  Of hearing friends and family members joyfully announce, “I’m pregnant”?  Of feeling tempted to indulge your bad moods with a few choice words, or your frustration with another bout of tears?  Of doubting your hope, questioning your faith, and wishing you did have the power to play God just this once?

Yes?

That’s the constant battle He’s talking about – and we’re all fighting it, all the time.

So, how do we renew our hope?  Strengthen our faith?  And set aside the desire to be God, so that He can do that in our lives?

“… do not give up!  Hope in Me, for you will again praise Me for the help of My presence.”

In other words, realize that your mindset determines your proximity to Christ.  He never moves.  He never abandons or forsakes you.  NEVER.  “I am with you always.”  You can choose to draw near to Him by bringing Him your burdens – of fear, fatigue, confusion, despair, grief and anger.  He has promised, “I will give you rest.”

How?  By the peace-giving power of His presence.

Do you find it impossible to sense that presence?

Then lay down.  Close your eyes.  Breathe deeply.  Slowly.  Rest your hands on your belly and let it rise… and fall….rise… and fall…rise… and fall.  And then ask Him, “Jesus, do you know how tired I am?  My spirit needs to rest.  Please, give me peace.”

I promise, He will.

Infertility and the Teachable Moment

Yesterday, my friend Stefan told me that someone close to him is struggling through infertility.  Frustrated, he said, “I told her to get in the infertility group at church, but she won’t do it.”

Knowing nothing about this woman, I said, “Let me guess.  She’s a Type A personality.  Very successful at work.  She’s married to an I-Can-Do-It kind of guy.  He hates to ask for help – takes pride in being self-reliant.  He’s a Fixer.  They’re keeping their struggle quiet because they’re going to push through it privately.  They’re just hoping it’ll be behind them soon.”

He almost fell over.  “You’ve described them perfectly!” he said, sounding totally amazed.

How did I know?  I didn’t… but it was a safe guess.  Over time, I’ve noticed a pattern working with infertile couples:  very often, they’re people who are used to success.

It’s the same story with every couple I meet through the infertility Bible study, and with people who contact me about blogposts or chapters in my book.  They’re used to succeeding.  They’re used to solving problems.  They’re used to getting things done – on time, and on budget.  When something is hard, they push harder.  Whatever it takes, they accomplish the objective.

Crazy as it sounds, this is the common denominator in every infertility story I know. I think it is the infertility story:  life was unfolding according to plan – then suddenly, we hit the wall.  What’s happening?!

I believe God is using infertility to create a teachable moment.

Think about it.  We want a baby and are motivated to do whatever it takes to make that happen.  He wants to teach us hugely important lessons that require a humble willingness to learn.  Those aren’t traits He consistently sees in us.  So, cue the infertility.

We try and try to conceive… remain childless… push harder and harder… become increasingly desperate… struggle for peace, hope and sanity… realize we can’t “fix” this… beg God for help… don’t get what we want (on our terms, or our timetable)…feel grief, anger, fear, despair…pass through many more cycles, struggling with the same issues… and finally become ready to end this painful process and completely relinquish control.

I’m convinced that the moment of humbly acknowledging “I can’t do this, God, only You can” is the critical first step toward learning the lesson(s) of this teachable moment.  “I choose to trust You and accept Your will for us, whatever that may be.”  When we can embrace the knowledge that those are not words of defeat – they are simply words of submission – we’re headed for victory.  The worst of the battle is behind us.

Are you ready for your infertility journey to come to an end?  Ask yourself if you are ready to accept whatever God gives you, whatever plan He has in mind for your future.  His best.  If you are ready to say “yes” unconditionally, you are ready to clear your only real hurdle.

Trust me, God will clear the rest.

=====================================================’

Want more encouragement and cause for hope?  Click this link…