Tag Archives: infertility worry

Be Still and Know

A reader wrote me a long email recently detailing her infertility history and describing the fork in the road that she and her husband have reached.  And then, she put a question to me:  “Would you mind me asking what you would do?”

I told her that I sympathized with her desire to have someone tell her “the answer,” but that I would not presume to step in between her and God – or to play God by saying I know the right answer for her and her particular circumstances.

I’m sure that wasn’t the response she was hoping for.  And in some ways, I wish I could have said something different.  But, this is her journey. God has a purpose in it — something He intends to birth into her life — and He hasn’t directed me to do anything more than help her see and understand that.

I was able to offer her one valuable piece of advice, though.  Do you want to hear it, too?  “Be still and know that I am God.”  Is that too simple to be useful?  Not if you dig deep into the powerful promise the verse contains.

“Be still…” means:  recognize that it is human nature to let stress cause you to go a million miles an hour, both physically and deep in your spirit, and that is not a good thing.  Without intending to, you’ve probably allowed infertility to become a frantic race to the finish line – a finish line that seems to keep moving further and further into the distance.  Will you ever reach it?!  Rather than responding with desperation and redoubling your effort to get there faster – only to find yourself increasingly exhausted – this verse says, slow down enough to recognize that faster isn’t always better.

There are so many reasons God could be delaying you and extending your journey.  Are you willing to trust that they are good reasons?  Whether they have to do with your health or the health of your baby, with your circumstances or the demands on you, with the path that will ultimately take you where you want to go, or simply the timing of getting there… embrace the perspective that the best outcome may not be reached by the shortest route.

You can be confident that there is a purpose for this journey that extends beyond reaching the destination.  God has allowed disappointments, losses and grief to come into your life as part of this purpose-full journey.  Why?  What has it shown you – about yourself, your spouse, your priorities, and your commitment to this goal?  Has it shown you anything about God?  It takes periods of quiet solitude to separate the tornado of emotions about what’s happening from the calm, constant Truth.  So, slow down.  Be still.  Quiet your thoughts enough to listen.

And what will happen?

This verse says, “… and know that I am God.”  If you choose to redirect your thoughts – away from your frustrations and impatience, toward the true source of peace – you will be able to return to the knowledge that God is who scripture says He is.  He is constant, even when your circumstances are wildly fluctuating.  He is in control, even when your thoughts and emotions are careening out of control.  He is with you, even when you feel devastatingly lost and alone.  He knows every detail of your story, and He walks with you every minute of this journey.

“… and know…” means:  move past feelings and Self-pitying thoughts to the truth that does not change.  Know it with conviction.  Know it with certainty.  Know it with confident hope. “… know that I am God.”  The only One with control over your circumstances and the outcome of your journey has not ceased to be who He is.  Your faithful, loving Father has not abandoned or forgotten you.  He never will.

Be still and know.

Leave a comment

Filed under Battles, Control, Peace

When We Can’t, God Will

Infertility doesn’t strike most of us as a great calling.  In fact, just the opposite.  It is a tremendous burden, an enormous obstacle, a prolonged season of undeserved suffering.  Everything bad and nothing good.  But what if that’s not how God sees it?  Does that matter?  If we could understand God’s purpose, would it change our perspective on infertility?

My husband and I rented “The Ten Commandments” DVD not long ago and watched Charlton Heston’s Moses journey from birth to the moment at the burning bush.  In that moment, when God calls him to confront Pharaoh and free his people, Moses’ first thought is:  I can’t.  But, God doesn’t take “no” for an answer.  As He makes clear, this isn’t about what Moses can do;  it’s about what God can do.  If Moses is willing, God is able.

He has a purpose for making it (appear) impossible for Moses to succeed, which He explains:

“…‘Go to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart…so I can perform these miraculous signs of mine… so that you may tell your children and grandchildren… and that you may know that I am the Lord”  [Exodus 10:1-2].

God isn’t interested in humiliating Moses or putting him in danger, despite how it may seem.  This story isn’t just about Moses.  God is setting the stage “for these miraculous signs of mine” which require the appearance of impossibility.  Why?  “So that you may tell your children and grandchildren… and that you may know that I am the Lord.”  All Moses needs to do is trust  God, and obey.

Like Moses, we miss sensing God’s purpose when we’re confronted with what appears impossible.  We’re too busy concentrating on our limitations and our fears.  Infertility focuses our attention on what we can’t do.  That’s all we can see, and all we can think about!  We forget that this isn’t about us; it’s about what God can do in and through us.

When Moses says, I can’t, God repeatedly assures him, I will:  “I will send you,” “I will be with you,” “I will help you,” “I will show you,” “I will teach you.”  Why?  “So that you may tell your children and grandchildren… and that you may know that I am the Lord.”  That’s the reason.  That’s God’s purpose.  This is about the story that will be told to generations.

Now, God wants to step into your story.  He wants to assure you, “I will be with you,” “I will help you,” “I will show you,” “I will teach you.”  Why?  “So that you may tell your children and grandchildren… and that you may know that I am the Lord.”

The same I who knew the outcome of Moses’ story knows the outcome of yours.  Trust Him, and one day, you will be telling your children an incredible story of God’s amazing faithfulness.


Find many more resources & cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com


Filed under Perspective, Trust