Tag Archives: infertility help

It’s a Blessing…

Once couples who’ve battled infertility reach the goal of parenthood – whether by conception or adoption – it’s tempting for retroactive amnesia to take hold.  Who wants to remember the heartache of the journey?  Why would anyone hold on to memories of loss, grief and suffering?  After all, given the time, money and effort it took to become a family, why do anything but enjoy it?

Because it’s not just about you.

Everything God does has a purpose.  Every difficulty He allows into your life is for a reason.  And very often, His reason extends beyond the impact of this journey on you and your faith life.  He also intends to use your experience, and its life-changing effect on you, to bless others.

As scripture says…

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

The temptation to focus on a hope-filled future, while intentionally forgetting the faith-challenging past, is just that:  a temptation.  It is a common one, a completely understandable one, and one you should resist.


Because part of our calling is to be the body of Christ for one another.  “…To comfort those in trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive.”  The infertility journey doesn’t end with parenthood.  Instead, we graduate to the next stage of the journey – one in which God calls us to set aside our former need for privacy (secrecy?) and openly witness to God’s goodness and faithfulness in order to give hope to those making the journey behind us.

Kristi and her husband, Carlos, kept his male factor infertility a secret from their family and friends.  But they confided in me, asking that I pray for their decision-making process, and for peace in the midst of uncertainty about the outcome of their journey.  [For more on their story, click this link].

Recently, Kristi got a call from a close friend who confessed that she and her husband were struggling with infertility.  In a split second, Kristi had a decision to make:  should she protect her privacy and the perception of an effortless conception, or should she share her story?  Kristi felt God nudging her to tell the truth.  She did.  She also talked about Pregnant With Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples, and about this blog.  “It was a spiritual lifeline for me,” she assured her friend.

Kristi’s friend hung up, immediately ordered a copy of the book and went online to read recent posts.  She called Kristi back in less than thirty minutes, and “we cried together over how good God is, and how everything happens in His perfect timing.”

Kristi shared this story with me so I would know how much the book and blog helped her — and by extension, her friend.  I pointed out that Kristi’s now taken on the role I played during her journey — of comforter, encourager, faithful witness, and Spirit-filled friend.

You can do that, too.

Do you know someone who’s struggling to find hope in the midst of the infertility journey?  If you’ve become a parent, share your story.  If you’re still making your own journey, it’s not too soon to help someone else.  Pass on your copy of Pregnant With Hope.  Send a link to this blog with a verse of comfort.  Risk exposing your need for God’s help and allow Him to use you to deliver a message of hope.

You will experience the joy that proves the axiom “It is a blessing to be a blessing.”


Filed under Blessings, Hope, Speaking Up

A Friend Who Understands Infertility

I saw a tweet yesterday that read, “infertile couples need infertile friends.”  At first, I thought, ‘I couldn’t agree more.’  Not because misery loves company; that concept has never made sense to me.  When I’m miserable, I want to feel better, not worse; other people’s suffering does nothing to fill me with joy.

I agreed because, when I’m struggling, I want to be reminded that someone understands.  As it turns out, I’m not alone.

According to blog stats provided by wordpress.com, people struggling, grieving, and agonizing over infertility typed in these search terms recently and were led straight to this blog:

  • What God wants to say to infertile couples
  • Sow in tears, reap in joy
  • Prayer for infertile couple
  • Can you trust God?
  • Words of encouragement fertility
  • Jesus gives children
  • Unbearable infertility
  • In the midst of despair and confusion
  • Infertility quotes for couples
  • A future with hope in God
  • Is egg donation what God wants?
  • Comforting words for an infertile wife
  • Bible verse for strength with infertility
  • God’s promises fertility
  • Infertility hope quotes
  • Number of infertile couples that did get pregnant
  • You got to trust that God
  • Website for infertile couples
  • Infertility loss of hope
  • Infertility insanity
  • Faith of Gideon ivf
  • Contextual Bible study for infertility
  • Ministries to help women getting pregnant
  • Fertility fundraising
  • Hope during infertility

The exciting news is that their searches didn’t find miserable company. Instead, they found the spiritual sustenance and confident hope they were truly craving.  Just as the Bible promises, “seek and you will find.”  That’s because God wants to be found by us.  He wants to accompany us on this difficult journey.

Scripture teaches, “Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you.” I believe one way God draws near to couples during the infertility journey is through this blog.  I say that not out of hubris, but as an obedient servant who has delighted in watching God accomplish amazing things.

He has called me to listen carefully, transcribe faithfully, commit time and effort consistently,  and deliver every message confidently.  I’ve done my best; He’s done the rest.  Truthfully, I know I could never inspire people the way this blog does – but it’s an incredible joy to have a front row seat and see God at work.

If you are struggling through infertility, trust that God has a valuable purpose for this journey; none of it will be wasted. Know, too, that your choice of friends during this time can make a world of difference in your perspective, and that can dramatically alter your trajectory and the outcome of this journey.

Let Pregnant With Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples help you gain insight into God’s promises, and encouragement “for the road.”  Along with this blog, it can help you (re)discover God’s desire to transform your heartbreaking quest into life-changing good news.  Isn’t that the kind of understanding you’re really looking for?


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Filed under Hope