Sisters in the Struggle — Sharing Hope

It’s so easy to feel isolated and alone when you’re struggling through infertility.  Somehow, it helps to know that other women (and men) are struggling, too.  The community that’s built through sharing stories is invaluable — which is why I consistently urge you to set aside secrecy in favor of finding others who understand.

Of course, understanding doesn’t always translate into the kind of support or sympathy you need in the moment (that’s what inspired my last post), but it’s worth the risk.  As one reader commented,

“As one who has been through many trials, it is so much better doing it transparently. There will always be those who look at you with pity, but there will also be those who LOVE you and know you just need a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold.”

Yesterday, I discovered that hundreds of SingaporeMotherhood.com readers made their way to this blog in search of community and understanding.  They were following a link in a chatroom post that read, in part…

“Dear sisters, I am touched by the care which you have rendered to support one another.  I have been married for 12 years and am dying to have a baby of my own.  I have been praying to God to answer my prayer, and in the midst of searching for God’s voice, I chanced upon this blog last night. As I was reading it, my emotions were greatly stirred! I felt a strong urge to share this blog with sisters who have been through a tough, roller coaster ride in their hope of becoming parents.”

It is both thrilling and humbling to know that my blog posts can inspire people struggling through infertility half a world away.  The Lord knows the glory is His.  But here’s what was most exciting to me….

In 2010, the fertility rate in Singapore was the third-lowest in the world.  That makes for lots of community if you want a baby but can’t seem to conceive and bring one to term.  The problem is not quality of care.  Singapore has the lowest infant mortality rate in the world.  So, what’s the problem?

And, at least as important, when those statistics define your experience, where do you turn for help and hope?

In a country where the predominant religion is Buddhism, one woman had the courage to say to others, “I found hope.  There is hope in Christ.  And you can read more about it at PregnantWithHope….”

That is God’s incredible grace.  He plants a seed of hope, meeting one need, and it generates a great harvest.  One woman in Singapore found hope – and she risked sharing it with others hungry for the same kind of hope.  One online forum post led to almost 200 new readers for this blog.  That’s the awesome goodness of God in action.

So, are you feeling alone?  Can’t find community?  Don’t worry.  God can.  He’ll lead you to it, and then use you to guide others there.  All so He can give you the love, compassion, mercy and grace you need to make the journey through infertility to parenthood – and the future He’d always planned for you.

Turns Out, You Are Not Alone

You’re not alone.

I discovered that truth in a whole new way when I went to Sitemeter yesterday.  Sitemeter tells me where blog readers come from.  Not who they are (don’t worry, your privacy’s completely protected), but where in the world they are.  And guess what?

There are infertile couples all around you.

Yesterday, readers came to this site from all over the U.S.  They also came from Canada, Australia, Germany, Singapore, India, England, and countries throughout South America.

Why does that matter?  Because infertility can be so profoundly isolating, it’s easy to believe you’ve been singled-out for suffering and no else has.  Or, that there are a small number of couples going to your particular clinic for help, but few others anywhere else.

That’s a lie.  It’s one of many that will fill your mind with doubt about God’s goodness as you struggle to maintain some equilibrium during infertility.

What can you do in response?

Raise Your Hand – Speak up.  Self-identify.  You won’t face the judgment you fear.  You may face some  ignorance, or insensitivity – but you’re also much more likely to find comfort, support, and company.  Of course, you should choose wisely when deciding whom to tell.  But trust me, it’s definitely a risk worth taking.

Find Community – Once you’ve shared your secret, find some community.  Not because misery loves company, but because “where two or more are gathered, I will be in the midst of them.”  Experiencing the presence of God is the first step toward experiencing the peace that comes with knowing and trusting Him.  Find (or create) a community of people who know what you’re facing, and you will have found a powerful source of strength.

Claim God’s Promises – The Bible is full of words of hope and inspiration.  They’re not outdated or theoretical, but powerful and real.  They can and will speak to your experience, if you ask God to bring His word alive in your story.  Set doubts aside long enough to discover God’s promises, invite Him to make them central to your journey, and watch how that changes everything.

Find Hope – Not sure where or how to find God’s promises in scripture?  Not sure whether to find a group or protect your privacy?  Whatever you decide, make it your goal to find hope for the journey.   Pregnant With Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples can help you discover hope in ways that are meaningful and relevant to you and your partner as you make your way.

There are millions of couples around the world making the same journey you are.  Some of them are crossing (virtual) paths with you when you come to this site; like you, they come seeking words of inspiration and hope.  Millions more have already made the journey; some of them – like me – want to share the good news that the journey won’t last forever, and God is good.

So, remember:  No matter how it feels, you are not alone.

========================================================

Find more words of encouragement and hope at PregnantWithHope.com

The Value of Spiritual Support

Why, if her own infertility journey is over, would a woman choose to work with infertile women?  Lisa Graham does it because she has a servant’s heart, and because it is a joy to watch God work in the lives of women who entrust their stories to her.

Seven years ago, after her own journey made her aware of the profound lack of spiritual support for women battling infertility, Lisa was urged to start a prayer group for infertile women.  A friend told her, “You should get women together, share your stories, and pray for one another.”  At first, Lisa felt intimidated by the idea of being the leader.  But another woman agreed to partner with her, and the two of them launched a unique ministry.

“We meet once a month,” Lisa explained.  “We go around the circle and everyone shares what’s happened to them since we last met:  test results, where they are in their cycle, the next doctor’s appointment….  Sometimes, there are losses to share.  And almost always tears.  Then, we anoint each woman with oil and pray for her.  Every month, we say, ‘Jesus is in the house!’  You can feel his presence in the room.”

Talking about infertility makes many people very uncomfortable.  Unfortunately, that includes those who are expected to embody the love and compassion of Christ during times of struggle and heartache.  According to E.W. Carter of the Regional Council of Churches, “Clergy don’t know how to talk about infertility in the 21^st century.  So, when faced with the unfulfilled longing for a child, they are often silent.”

That silence can make infertile couples – especially women – feel judged, marginalized and neglected.  Lisa Graham’s prayer group models one simple solution to this problem.

“It’s amazing to me that there aren’t more churches doing this, but we are the only group like this in Atlanta.  Every month, Christians, Jews and non-believers gather together to honor God, to share their burdens, and to support one another.  It is a simple ministry, but it’s very powerful.  We see so many miracles – women getting pregnant after their doctors have said they can’t, women conceiving naturally after IVF has failed… we know God is at work.”

Luke tells the story of the Pharisees insisting Jesus rebuke his disciples for calling out praises to God for the miracles they’ve seen.  Jesus’ response is “If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

That is how “alumni” of Lisa’s prayer group — who are now mothers — feel about acknowledging God’s role in their stories.  Many of them return to the group every month to pray with and for other women.  They feel compelled to share the good news of their own experiences with those in desperate need of hope and inspiration.

“We praise God for what He does, and we claim His promises for one another,” said Lisa.  “The rest is up to Him.”

Might you — or someone you know — benefit from a group like Lisa’s?  If so, consider forwarding a link to this blogpost to your ministry team or your doctor.  Let them know there is a simple way to deliver meaningful support.  If you prefer to protect your privacy, feel free to send their contact information to me (susan@pregnantwithhope.com) and I will  send them information information on how and why to start a prayer group.

Remember:  The God who is so generous and faithful that He must be praised or “the stones will cry out” is ready and waiting to help all those who call on Him.  What are you waiting for?

=====================================================

Find more resources and cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com

Getting Help, Finding Hope

I’ve been hearing about the importance of good self-care all my life.   Because there is more to me than just my physical self, it requires me to be attuned to my emotional, intellectual, psychological and spiritual needs.  That became very difficult when we were going through infertility.

It’s a common problem, and one that can snowball rapidly.

Poor self-care can quickly undermine a relationship as our list of unmet needs grows – along with our frustration, resentment, hurt and anger.  We can’t control infertility, but a truly committed partner would sense our needs and meet them.  Right?  That unvoiced expectation puts tremendous pressure on a relationship already stressed by the challenges of infertility.

What’s the alternative if this is the best self-care we can muster?  Who else can help us?  Christ, in community:  “For where two or more are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”  That’s the foundational assumption on which we built the infertility Bible study group.

People who are struggling through infertility need help and hope.  We need to surround ourselves with people who truly understand the struggle, and care deeply about it.  We need to immerse ourselves in the powerful promises of God – who is bigger than the problem we’re facing.  And, we need to experience the caring presence of Christ through community.

It’s too much to expect good self-care to do all that.  In the midst of infertility, it can’t and it won’t.  Neither will the world’s best partner.

If you are one of the “we” going through infertility, stop expecting the impossible from yourself – or your spouse.  You need a community to surround you and lift you up.  You need to find comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone – and to experience that comfort, first-hand.

When you seek and find it, you will also find affirmation, belonging, support, hope, encouragement, inspiration, compassion, spiritual sustenance, and much more.  And, you will (re)discover the joy of giving all these things to others who – like you – are so hungry for them.

How do you find such an amazing community?  A growing number of hospitals and churches are starting infertility groups, using Pregnant with Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples as the basis for discussion.  If you find there is no such group, equip yourself with a copy of the book and print-outs of a few blogs that have been particularly meaningful, and point out the need.

The risk you may feel you are taking – “what will people think?!” – is well worth the incredible support you will find God providing in response to your call for help.  Remember, “Everyone who calls, ‘help, God!’ gets help” [Romans 10:12].  So, don’t be afraid.  Think of it as very good self-care.

And if, for some reason, you don’t get the response you want, contact me directly (susan@pregnantwithhope.com).  I’ll work with you to start a group in your area.  There’s also lots of information on the website, PregnantWithHope.com, about how to get the ball rolling.  Find one other couple hungry for support, and you’ll be ready to begin.

The help and hope you need are closer than they feel.  Please, take a step toward them.  It will completely change the way you experience the infertility journey.

====================================================

For more resources and cause for hope, visit PregnantWithHope.com

A Friend Who Understands Infertility

I saw a tweet yesterday that read, “infertile couples need infertile friends.”  At first, I thought, ‘I couldn’t agree more.’  Not because misery loves company; that concept has never made sense to me.  When I’m miserable, I want to feel better, not worse; other people’s suffering does nothing to fill me with joy.

I agreed because, when I’m struggling, I want to be reminded that someone understands.  As it turns out, I’m not alone.

According to blog stats provided by wordpress.com, people struggling, grieving, and agonizing over infertility typed in these search terms recently and were led straight to this blog:

• What God wants to say to infertile couples
• Sow in tears, reap in joy
• Prayer for infertile couple
• Can you trust God?
• Words of encouragement fertility
• Jesus gives children
• Unbearable infertility
• In the midst of despair and confusion
• Infertility quotes for couples
• A future with hope in God
• Is egg donation what God wants?
• Comforting words for an infertile wife
• Bible verse for strength with infertility
• God’s promises fertility
• Infertility hope quotes
• Number of infertile couples that did get pregnant
• You got to trust that God
• Website for infertile couples
• Infertility loss of hope
• Infertility insanity
• Faith of Gideon ivf
• Contextual Bible study for infertility
• Ministries to help women getting pregnant
• Fertility fundraising
• Hope during infertility

The exciting news is that their searches didn’t find miserable company. Instead, they found the spiritual sustenance and confident hope they were truly craving.  Just as the Bible promises, “seek and you will find.”  That’s because God wants to be found by us.  He wants to accompany us on this difficult journey.

Scripture teaches, “Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you.” I believe one way God draws near to couples during the infertility journey is through this blog.  I say that not out of hubris, but as an obedient servant who has delighted in watching God accomplish amazing things.

He has called me to listen carefully, transcribe faithfully, commit time and effort consistently,  and deliver every message confidently.  I’ve done my best; He’s done the rest.  Truthfully, I know I could never inspire people the way this blog does – but it’s an incredible joy to have a front row seat and see God at work.

If you are struggling through infertility, trust that God has a valuable purpose for this journey; none of it will be wasted. Know, too, that your choice of friends during this time can make a world of difference in your perspective, and that can dramatically alter your trajectory and the outcome of this journey.

Let Pregnant With Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples help you gain insight into God’s promises, and encouragement “for the road.”  Along with this blog, it can help you (re)discover God’s desire to transform your heartbreaking quest into life-changing good news.  Isn’t that the kind of understanding you’re really looking for?

 

Infertile? You Are Not Alone

You’re not alone.

I discovered that truth in a whole new way when I went to Sitemeter yesterday.  Sitemeter tells me where blog readers come from.  Not who they are (don’t worry, your privacy’s protected), but where in the world they are. And guess what?

There are infertile couples all around you.

Yesterday, readers came to this site from all over the U.S.  They also came from Canada, Australia, Germany, Singapore, India, England, and countries throughout South America.

Why does that matter?  Because infertility can be so profoundly isolating, it’s easy to believe you’ve been singled-out for suffering and no else has.  Or, that there are a small number of couples going to your particular clinic for help, but few others anywhere else.

That’s a lie.  It’s one of many that will fill your mind with doubt about God’s goodness as you struggle to maintain some equilibrium during infertility.

What can you do in response?

Raise Your Hand – Speak up.  Self-identify.  You won’t face the judgment you fear.  You may face some  ignorance, or insensitivity – but you’re also much more likely to find comfort, support, and company.  Of course, you should choose wisely when deciding whom to tell.  But trust me, it’s definitely a risk worth taking.

Find Community – Once you’ve shared your secret, find some community.  Not because misery loves company, but because “where two or more are gathered, I will be in the midst of them.”  Experiencing the presence of God is the first step toward experiencing the peace that comes with knowing and trusting Him.  Find (or create) a community of people who know what you’re facing, and you will have found a powerful source of strength.

Claim God’s Promises – The Bible is full of words of hope and inspiration.  They’re not outdated or theoretical, but powerful and real.  They can and will speak to your experience, if you ask God to bring His word alive in your story.  Set doubts aside long enough to discover God’s promises, invite Him to make them central to your journey, and watch how that changes everything.

Find Hope – Not sure where or how to find God’s promises in scripture?  Not sure whether to find a group or protect your privacy?  Whatever you decide, make it your goal to find hope for the journey.   Pregnant With Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples can help you discover hope in ways that are meaningful and relevant to you and your partner as you make your way.

There are millions of couples around the world making the same journey you are.  Some of them are crossing (virtual) paths with you when you come to this site; like you, they come seeking words of inspiration and hope.  Millions more have already made the journey; some of them – like me – want to share the good news that the journey won’t last forever, and God is good.

So, remember:  No matter how it feels, you are not alone.

========================================================

Find more words of encouragement and hope in Pregnant With Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples and at PregnantWithHope.com

The Walk of Hope

I participated in RESOLVE’s first Walk of Hope on Saturday.  Along with about 200 other people, I walked through a downtown park and around a peaceful lake on a gorgeous morning.  It was a great way to start the weekend.  And that’s what seemed so strange.

The whole thing seemed so “normal.”

At 9 a.m., the park was already busy with morning runners, Farmers’ Market vendors setting up tables, and well-tanned athletes preparing for a beach volleyball tournament.  Like all of them, we were in the park for a specific purpose… but there was no stigma attached to us.

No one stared at us when we gathered.  No one avoided eye contact with us while we walked.  No one pitied us, offered inane advice, or asked us painful questions.  We were normal people in a normal place on a normal day…  raising money and awareness for infertility.

Why can’t it be like this every day?

A feature in the most recent issue of Conceive magazine gave me the answer.  The article talked about celebrities’ unwillingness to acknowledge battles with infertility.  With rare exceptions, it said, most celebrities prefer to give the impression that they conceived without any outside intervention – no matter how unlikely that may be.

These seemingly-harmless deceptions actually reinforce the stigma of infertility.  They set an artificial standard that implies  anything less than effortless conception is failure, and cause for shame.

When we buy into this twisted thinking and apply the same standard to ourselves, we pave the way for heartache.  We  reinforce the experience of infertility as a curse.  We also reinforce the desire to struggle in secret, forfeiting community and support in order to maintain the illusion of effortless conception.

Why follow the example of people who invest their energy in promoting false perceptions?  Why not value authenticity over deception?  Otherwise, when another month goes by without a pregnancy, we find ourselves painted into a psychological corner.  They pulled off their illusion… why can’t we?  Our failure reinforces our secrecy… again… and again… and again.

We feel so alone.  And we’ve brought it on ourselves.

The Walk of Hope was a great reminder that many other couples are also struggling.  We can be here for each other!  Shattering the silence and ending the secrecy is a huge step forward.

For a few hours on a spectacular, sunny morning, we showed our faces to each other and to the community-at-large.  There were numerous photographers present, but no one hid.  The loudspeakers blasted words like “infertility” and “struggle” across the park, but no slinked away or looked ashamed.  Why?  Because infertility is so common, it IS normal.

Somehow, in coming together, we found the strength to say, “It’s true.  Infertility has affected me, and I’m here to do something about it.”  What an empowering step to take!  We stood together in public and showed infertility’s many faces.  We hugged our friends, smiled at sympathetic strangers, and joined new acquaintances for The Walk and conversation.

It was wonderful because it was all so “normal.”

This is what every day of infertility should be like.  For everyone.

Join us on next year’s walk.

====================================================

For more inspiration, resources and cause for hope in the midst of infertility, click this link...

Spiritual Support for Infertile Women

Why, if her own infertility journey is over, would a woman choose to work with infertile women?  Lisa Graham does it because she has a servant’s heart, and because it is a joy to watch God work in the lives of women who entrust their stories to her.

Seven years ago, after her own journey made her aware of the profound lack of spiritual support for women battling infertility, Lisa was urged to start a prayer group for infertile women.  A friend told her, “You should get women together, share your stories, and pray for one another.”  At first, Lisa felt intimidated by the idea of being the leader.  But another woman agreed to partner with her, and the two of them launched a unique ministry.

“We meet once a month,” Lisa explained.  “We go around the circle and everyone shares what’s happened to them since we last met:  test results, where they are in their cycle, the next doctor’s appointment….  Sometimes, there are losses to share.  And almost always tears.  Then, we anoint each woman with oil and pray for her.  Every month, we say, ‘Jesus is in the house!’  You can feel his presence in the room.”

Talking about infertility makes many people very uncomfortable.  Unfortunately, that includes those who are expected to embody the love and compassion of Christ during times of struggle and heartache.  According to E.W. Carter of the Regional Council of Churches, “Clergy don’t know how to talk about infertility in the 21^st century.  So, when faced with the unfulfilled longing for a child, they are often silent.”

That silence can make infertile couples – especially women – feel judged, marginalized and neglected.  Lisa Graham’s prayer group models one simple solution to this problem.

“It’s amazing to me that there aren’t more churches doing this, but we are the only group like this in Atlanta.  Every month, Christians, Jews and non-believers gather together to honor God, to share their burdens, and to support one another.  It is a simple ministry, but it’s very powerful.  We see so many miracles – women getting pregnant after their doctors have said they can’t, women conceiving naturally after IVF has failed… we know God is at work.”

Luke tells the story of the Pharisees insisting Jesus rebuke his disciples for calling out praises to God for the miracles they’ve seen.  Jesus’ response is “If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

That is how “alumni” of Lisa’s prayer group — who are now mothers — feel about acknowledging God’s role in their stories.  Many of them return to the group every month to pray with and for other women.  They feel compelled to share the good news of their own experiences with those in desperate need of hope and inspiration.

“We praise God for what He does, and we claim His promises for one another,” said Lisa.  “The rest is up to Him.”

Might you — or someone you know — benefit from a group like Lisa’s?  If so, consider forwarding a link to this blogpost to your ministry team or your doctor.  Let them know there is a simple way to deliver meaningful support.  If you prefer to protect your privacy, feel free to send their contact information to me (susan@pregnantwithhope.com) and I will  send them information information on how and why to start a prayer group.

Remember:  The God who is so generous and faithful that He must be praised or “the stones will cry out” is ready and waiting to help all those who call on Him.  What are you waiting for?

=====================================================

Find more resources and cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com

Finding Help & Hope During Infertility

I’ve been hearing about the importance of good self-care all my life.   Because there is more to me than just my physical self, it requires me to be attuned to my emotional, intellectual, psychological and spiritual needs.  That became very difficult when we were going through infertility.

It’s a common problem, and one that can snowball rapidly.

Poor self-care can quickly undermine a relationship as our list of unmet needs grows – along with our frustration, resentment, hurt and anger.  We can’t control infertility, but a truly committed partner would sense our needs and meet them.  Right?  That unvoiced expectation puts tremendous pressure on a relationship already stressed by the challenges of infertility.

What’s the alternative if this is the best self-care we can muster?  Who else can help us?  Christ, in community:  “For where two or more are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”  That’s the foundational assumption on which we built the infertility Bible study group.

People who are struggling through infertility need help and hope.  We need to surround ourselves with people who truly understand the struggle, and care deeply about it.  We need to immerse ourselves in the powerful promises of God – who is bigger than the problem we’re facing.  And, we need to experience the caring presence of Christ through community.

It’s too much to expect good self-care to do all that.  In the midst of infertility, it can’t and it won’t.  Neither will the world’s best partner.

If you are one of the “we” going through infertility, stop expecting the impossible from yourself – or your spouse.  You need a community to surround you and lift you up.  You need to find comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone – and to experience that comfort, first-hand.

When you seek and find it, you will also find affirmation, belonging, support, hope, encouragement, inspiration, compassion, spiritual sustenance, and much more.  And, you will (re)discover the joy of giving all these things to others who – like you – are so hungry for them.

How do you find such an amazing community?  A growing number of hospitals and churches are starting infertility groups, using Pregnant with Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples as the basis for discussion.  If you find there is no such group, equip yourself with a copy of the book and print-outs of a few blogs that have been particularly meaningful, and point out the need.

The risk you may feel you are taking – “what will people think?!” – is well worth the incredible support you will find God providing in response to your call for help.  Remember, “Everyone who calls, ‘help, God!’ gets help” [Romans 10:12].  So, don’t be afraid.  Think of it as very good self-care.

And if, for some reason, you don’t get the response you want, contact me directly (susan@pregnantwithhope.com).  I’ll work with you to start a group in your area.  There’s also lots of information on the website, PregnantWithHope.com, about how to get the ball rolling.  Find one other couple hungry for support, and you’ll be ready to begin.

The help and hope you need are closer than they feel.  Please, take a step toward them.  It will completely change the way you experience the infertility journey.

====================================================

For more resources and cause for hope, visit PregnantWithHope.com

A Lesson in Fertility Fundraising

What if instead of keeping your infertility a secret you actually told everyone?  I mean EVERYONE.  Before you say, “Never!” read this excerpt of a story from the San Francisco Chronicle:

Molly and Brian Walsh were in their mid-30’s when they married.  They wanted to start a family, but Brian has Marfan’s syndrome, a connective tissue disease, and they did not want to pass it on to their child.  They needed $25-30,000 for IVF with PGD (pre-implantation genetic diagnosis).  They saved $10,000.  Then, they did what is to many infertile couples unthinkable:  they went public.  In a big way.  The decision to go public was not easy, but ultimately, this was a race against the clock.  They used email, Facebook and Twitter to invite friends to a “Makin’ Whoopie” wine tasting party, at $35 a head.  Not only did 100 friends agree to attend, they also donated trips, tours, art and wine for a silent auction.  Many also offered up stories of their own struggles with fertility to encourage the Walshes in their pursuit of a healthy, successful pregnancy.

Funds raised:  $8000.  Hope renewed:  priceless.

What do you think?  Outrageous?  Inspired?  Unimaginable?  Whatever you may think about the idea, I think there’s a lot to learn from the story.  Here are some examples you could follow:

1. Face the truth – For Molly & Brian, inheritable genetic defects indicated IVF with PGD.  And that required a big budget.  Money was tight and time was short.  The facts weren’t encouraging, but facing them squarely gave them a starting point.
2. Set pride aside – The one variable they could control was their insistence on privacy.  Once they realized they needed assistance to reach their goal, the choice was clear:  forget pride, get help.  All that required was humility.
3. Come out of hiding – The party invitation read:  “You can’t help us in the bedroom, but you can help us make a baby.”  Pretense was pointless, as was secrecy.  They sent invitations to hundreds of people – some of whom they hadn’t seen or talked to in years.
4. Ask for help – Their request for help explained their situation and invited people who cared to be part of the solution.  The humility inherent in their appeal was irresistible to many of those they contacted.
5. Invite openness – After publicly telling their story, the Walshes experienced an unexpected blessing:  “Our friends shared amazing stories with us on Facebook – successes, as well as struggles and challenges.”  The Walsh’s willingness to share their story opened the door for other couples to do the same.
6. Build community –  Before this, Brian Walsh said, “we had felt like a private island in no-man’s land – surrounded by friends who have kids.”  Knowing about other couples’ struggles “made it easier.”  The Walshes formed new bonds with old friends whose success conceiving had seemed to create a wall of separation; now, they shared a common foe (infertility) and a common goal (parenthood).
7. Encourage investment – The Walsh’s friends literally invested in the outcome of their infertility journey.  But even figurative investments translate into ongoing support & concern, instead of perceived judgment or unwelcome pity.
8. Leave a legacy – The Walsh’s creative campaign not only raised funds, it also created a huge network of loving future godparents – each of whom is deeply invested in breathing life into the dream of a Walsh family.  What a legacy… for this newly-strengthened community of friends, and for the Walsh’s much-anticipated child.

I believe the example the Walshes set is relevant to every infertility journey.  Not the party, necessarily… but the logic behind it.  The Bible teaches that we are one body [I Cor 12:22-27].  We need each other.  We are intended to bear each other’s burdens, and share each other’s joys.  How can that happen if infertile couples refuse to share their secret, ask for help, build community, or invite others to become invested in their success?

Party or no party, I think the Walshes are onto something.

What do you think?

========================================================

Find more resources and cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com