When the Church Fails

Rightly or wrongly, many of us view ministers/pastors/priests/clergy (whatever you want to call them) as an embodiment of the church.  We unconsciously expect them to exhibit a Christlikeness that the rest of us only aspire to, and to do so – especially to do so – when life is hard, when our faith falters, and when doubt whispers to us, “Don’t believe.”

We look to these men and women to model the obstacle-surmounting faith we want and need to survive the journey through infertility.

But sometimes, the church fails.

My husband had an experience yesterday that reminded us both that even the best, most respected ministers can fall far short of our expectations.  They can momentarily lose sight of God’s will and purpose — and their responsibility to inspire us to follow their example.  When they do, they can profoundly disappoint us.  In response, we’re tempted to turn our backs on what feels like a sham.  A pretense.  An every Sunday dog and pony show that’s actually make-believe.

Of course, Satan loves when church leaders fail.  When they refuse to acknowledge their own limitations, doubts, struggles, shortcomings or uncertainties.  Why?  Because he knows “God opposes the proud” – and it’s pride that keeps clergy from admitting their imperfections.  Whether it’s because they want to maintain a mystique or fulfill unspoken expectations, their unwillingness to admit that they don’t always know how to minister to us cripples their ministry – and sometimes, our faith.

Many infertile couples leave the church as a result.

But here’s the thing to understand:  even when the church – through its leaders and its congregants – fails to be compassionate, honest, transparent or accountable, God doesn’t fail.   He hasn’t.  And He won’t.

The truth is, only Christ can be fully Christlike.  Only He has ever walked in faith at all times, and through all circumstances.  The rest of us?  Feet of clay.  As Scripture declares,  “[We] all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  We’re all imperfect – most especially, those of us who stand in the pulpit and preach Christlikeness while failing to walk the talk.

Is that hypocrisy frustrating for infertile couples?  You bet.  Alienating?  Definitely.  Unforgiveable?  No.  Why?  Because that’s the tension between who we all are and who God calls us to be.

It is journeys like the one through infertility that help us grow in faith — in the process, narrowing the gap between who we are and who we can be:  Stronger believers.  More humble, better equipped, growing in gratitude and increasingly ready to parent the children God has planned for us.

That’s one of infertility’s blessings-in-disguise.

So, remember:  Though the church may fail you, Christ never fails.  He has promised to comfort, strengthen, and guide you.  He has committed to pray for you, grieve with you, and give you hope.  He shows you through Scripture what is possible by faith in the God “through whom all things are possible.”  He never, ever fails.

Build your faith upon this rock.

When Infertility & Ministry Collide: One Couple’s Story

Has anyone ever told you that the Bible is full of good advice?  That it has all the answers?  How did that make you feel?

In my experience, infertile couples tend to feel patronized when someone sends them to the Bible for answers.  Why?  I think because it feels like a spiritual brush-off – like a feigned attempt to help, wrapped in an artificial piety.  And why is that?  Because virtually no one seems to know where to find practical advice for infertile couples in scripture.

And why is that?

Because no one – in the church, or outside it – seems to think that the spiritual questions that accompany infertility are much of a priority… unless they find themselves making the journey.  Then, it takes on a whole new urgency.

I don’t think that irony is lost on God.

Here’s why….

A man and his wife joined our support group several years ago.  They were five years into their quest to conceive.  Still, they hadn’t shared their secret with anyone:  the husband was a minister, and the minister was struggling with infertility.

Week after week, as they processed grief and tried to muster hope, he felt compelled to stand before his congregation preaching on God’s faithfulness.  The obligation he felt to preach something he wasn’t experiencing – and increasingly struggled to believe – transformed the pulpit into a crucible.

At his wife’s urging, he finally stepped aside, and they began driving an hour each way to participate in our Bible study.  Free to express the doubts and fears they’d bottled up for years, they asked:  “Why is this happening?  What are we supposed to do?  How do we change this?  What does God want from us?!”

Now, timeout.  Look at this situation.  A minister came to a group of struggling souls searching for answers.  He didn’t have them.  He couldn’t find them in the Bible.  He felt as lost as they were.  But, he had the good sense (finally!) to ask for help.

Here’s the good news:  he and his wife both found answers, help and hope.  They rediscovered the power of God’s promise, “I am with you always.” And their spiritual lives began to show signs of new life.

One day, soon after the class ended, the wife called me.  She said that the weeks spent in our group had helped them find the peace that had been so elusive for so long.  They’d discovered that they were comfortable considering adoption – for the first time.  They’d completed a profile and, almost immediately, gotten a call.  Twins!  Due to be born in a week!

She started to cry.  “All along we were praying for twins, but we never told anyone.  No one knew… but God knew.  When we got that call, and they said ‘twins,’ we knew He was telling us He’d heard our prayers.”

Why did I share this story?  To say that ministers don’t have all the answers?  That the Bible can seem dense and confusing?  That it’s hard to know where to find actionable advice in scripture, especially in the midst of high-stress  infertility?

Yes.

And to say, it’s okay not to know all the answers.  Even if you’re a minister.  It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, hurt, confused and resentful.  It’s okay to express those feelings honestly and to get help dealing with them.  And yes, it’s okay to admit that infertility is crippling your spiritual life.  God won’t be angry.  Instead, He’ll step into your story.

Not sure where to find good advice in the Bible?  Your minister might not know either.  But you can make this journey together.  If you do, I think you’ll both learn a lot about the goodness of God.

=======================================================

Equip your minister to help you and other infertile couples.  Pass on a copy of Pregnant With Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples or a link to this blog.

Searching for Help & Hope

Has anyone ever told you that the Bible is full of good advice?  That it has all the answers?  How did that make you feel?

In my experience, infertile couples tend to feel patronized when someone sends them to the Bible for answers.  Why?  I think because it feels like a spiritual brush-off – like a feigned attempt to help, wrapped in an artificial piety.  And why is that?  Because virtually no one seems to know where to find practical advice for infertile couples in scripture.

And why is that?

Because no one – in the church, or outside it – seems to think that the spiritual questions that accompany infertility are much of a priority… unless they find themselves making the journey.  Then, it takes on a whole new urgency.

I don’t think that irony is lost on God.

Here’s why….

A man and his wife joined our support group several years ago.  They were five years into their quest to conceive.  Still, they hadn’t shared their secret with anyone:  the husband was a minister, and the minister was struggling with infertility.

Week after week, as they processed grief and tried to muster hope, he felt compelled to stand before his congregation preaching on God’s faithfulness.  The obligation he felt to preach something he wasn’t experiencing – and increasingly struggled to believe – transformed the pulpit into a crucible.

At his wife’s urging, he finally stepped aside, and they began driving an hour each way to participate in our Bible study.  Free to express the doubts and fears they’d bottled up for years, they asked:  “Why is this happening?  What are we supposed to do?  How do we change this?  What does God want from us?!”

Now, timeout.  Look at this situation.  A minister came to a group of struggling souls searching for answers.  He didn’t have them.  He couldn’t find them in the Bible.  He felt as lost as they were.  But, he had the good sense (finally!) to ask for help.

Here’s the good news:  he and his wife both found answers, help and hope.  They rediscovered the power of God’s promise, “I am with you always.” And their spiritual lives began to show signs of new life.

One day, soon after the class ended, the wife called me.  She said that the weeks spent in our group had helped them find the peace that had been so elusive for so long.  They’d discovered that they were comfortable considering adoption – for the first time.  They’d completed a profile and, almost immediately, gotten a call.  Twins!  Due to be born in a week!

She started to cry.  “All along we were praying for twins, but we never told anyone.  No one knew… but God knew.  When we got that call, and they said ‘twins,’ we knew He was telling us He’d heard our prayers.”

Why did I share this story?  To say that ministers don’t have all the answers?  That the Bible can seem dense and confusing?  That it’s hard to know where to find actionable advice in scripture, especially in the midst of high-stress  infertility?

Yes.

And to say, it’s okay not to know all the answers.  Even if you’re a minister.  It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, hurt, confused and resentful.  It’s okay to express those feelings honestly and to get help dealing with them.  And yes, it’s okay to admit that infertility is crippling your spiritual life.  God won’t be angry.  Instead, He’ll step into your story.

Not sure where to find good advice in the Bible?  Your minister might not know either.  But you can make this journey together.  If you do, I think you’ll both learn a lot about the goodness of God.

=======================================================

Equip your minister to help you and other infertile couples.  Pass on a copy of Pregnant With Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples or a link to this blog.

Infertility: Surrender to Success

What does it mean when prayers for a pregnancy don’t get answered?  When a baby doesn’t make it to term, even though you pray for its health and beg God for its life?  When an adoption doesn’t go through, even though every step in the process has seemed like answered prayer?

There is no public dialogue on questions like these.  Maybe they’re too difficult, or too emotionally-charged.  Maybe they force people to think about things they’d rather not consider, or confront truths they’d rather avoid.  Whatever the reason, the absence of answers leaves us alone with our thoughts.  And those can be devastating.

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”   What are we supposed to make of these words of Jesus’?  They used to submerge me in despair.  I was praying.  I was believing.  And instead of a baby, I had miscarriage after miscarriage – leaving me with the question:  What am I doing wrong?  Why don’t my prayers get answered?

Are you wondering the same thing?

Here’s what I’ve come to understand:

At first, my will wasn’t aligned with God’s. My will was:  give me a baby now.  It was, to be perfectly honest, an infantile kind of willfulness that was too obsessed with gimme!  to consider God’s purpose or His timing.  I wasn’t praying with a servant’s heart; surrender was nowhere on my radar screen.  My prayer was more often, “why not?!” – and sometimes, I didn’t even wait for an answer.

My prayers were more about entitlement than obedience.  Without realizing it, I presumed that I knew best.  That a child now was better than a child later; that this pregnancy would trump a future one; that the sooner I got a “yes,” the happier I’d be.  It was all about my plan (now!), not God’s plan.  It was about satisfying my intense desire (entitlement), not about serving God’s purposes (obedience).

My impetuous neediness wasn’t all that mattered to God.  Despite my sense that I couldn’t hang on much longer without getting the baby I wanted, God knew I could.  He resisted my pleas with patient  wisdom, despite the fact that my suffering broke His heart.  Over time, my broken spirit became a malleable one, and God made me more of the steward He wanted me to be for the soul He’d always planned to entrust to me.

Then, I learned to pray for God’s best.  Instead of trying to wrestle with God over whose will should prevail, I finally began to demonstrate my trust by letting go of my desire to control.  I chose to trust that God intended to make me a parent – in His way, in His timing.  With that choice to surrender, came a wave of peace.  And with peace, came a pregnancy… that went to term… and brought into the world the baby intended for me.

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”   For a long time, I didn’t believe that I had received anything.  Where was some evidence?  All I could see was that I hadn’t received what I wanted.  But, when I learned to pray for God’s best – His best timing, His best plan, His best reasons, His best outcome – and trust that I had received a “yes” in response to that request, everything changed.

Surrender was the secret to victory.

Imagine that.

===================================================

Find more resources and cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com

Giving Voice to Infertility

Conceiving and carrying a baby to term is difficult for some of us—but not all.  So, what does it mean to be singled-out for suffering?  The church is oddly silent when it comes to addressing this question.  Not just my church.  All churches.  They are all failing to provide insight… compassionate support… even just overt grace to those struggling to build a family.  Instead, they offer silence.

Why?

In her review of Pregnant with Hope, E.W. Carter of the Regional Council of Churches writes, “Clergy don’t even know how to talk about infertility in the 21^st century, [so] many of our faith communities are silent when confronted with the unfulfilled longing for a child.”  Essentially, she’s saying the church is silent because the clergy are clueless.

Harsh?  No offense intended, but she says it quite clearly, “They don’t even know how to talk about infertility….”  Why would that be?  There are few, if any, other topics on which the church—and those who speak for God through it—have nothing to say.  What’s the problem?

Old habits die hard.

That’s part of the problem.  For centuries, the church has been run by men.  And, for just as long, infertility has been considered a woman’s failure.  Only recently has medical research discovered that infertility is just as often caused by an issue with the prospective father’s health as with the prospective mother’s.

Now, women are in the pulpit and infertile men are in the pews.  But the church hasn’t metabolized this new reality.  No one’s teaching “How to Talk About Infertility” in divinity school.  What’s stopping that change from coming?

Supply meets demand.

That’s the other part of the problem.  No noise.  No clamor for change.  Until the silent give voice to their suffering, inertia will maintain the status quo.  So, if we want messages of hope for those struggling with infertility to make their way to the pulpit, and from the pulpit into the hearts and minds of all those who don’t yet understand the good news of God’s faithfulness—even in the midst of infertility—we’ve got to speak up.

Are you with me?

===================================================

Find more resources and cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com

Infertility & the Unexpected Detour

Pam and Aaron joined the infertility Bible study looking for community and support, and hoping to be among those who conceived quickly.  Instead, their journey took them far from their desired destination.

As they struggled through infertility tests, treatments and repeated heartache – they found the slope of their climb getting steeper and steeper.  When Pam was laid off, they lost one household income.  Then Aaron lost his job.  Suddenly, there was no income at all.  They would have to sell their condominium to avoid foreclosure.  Unfortunately, they were entering a glutted, sellers-only market.  Worse, a nearby condo building was about to slash prices to spur sales.

The money they needed for future procedures – or adoption costs – seemed to be evaporating before their eyes.  They talked, half-jokingly, about selling Pam’s engagement ring to subsidize IVF.  They would have to move in with her parents, leaving behind the community of infertile couples that had encouraged and sustained them.

At this point, it would not have been unreasonable for them to ask, like the psalmist:

“Will the Lord reject forever?  Will he never show his favor again?  Has his unfailing love vanished forever?  Has his promise failed for all time?  Has God forgotten to be merciful?  Has he in anger withheld his compassion?” [Psalm 77:7-9].

They could not see cause for hope, but they chose to believe that God would help them find a way through their challenges and back to the path leading to parenthood.

It didn’t take long for God to show up.

First, they sold their condo – in four days, and just prior to the announcement of a $60,000 price cut next door.  “That was amazing,” said Aaron.  “That $60,000 was money we couldn’t afford to lose.”  They moved to Pam’s parents’ house.  But, within a few weeks, Pam had a job offer – in the city they’d just left.  Soon after, Aaron had an interview for a director’s position – in the same city.

The tide was starting to turn.

A week ago, they spent several days in town for Aaron’s interview, and came to worship.  Several of the couples from the infertility Bible study happened to be in the lobby talking.  Instantly, they were drawn back into the network of love and support they’d thought they would have to forfeit.

It was as if God rebooted their entire story.  First, He removed everything they relied on:  their jobs, their incomes, their housing investment, their network of friends, their church home…  leaving them, it seemed, with next-to-nothing.

Then, He awaited their response.

They stayed in faith and trusted that He would guide their steps and make a way where there seemed to be no way.  And He did.  He restored their jobs, their incomes, their support network and their church home.  Within weeks!

What was the purpose of this dramatic detour?

I believe it was a test designed to show them how much power there is in trusting God, and how faithful He is to those He loves.  And, I believe they passed with flying colors – by which I mean, they made God-honoring choices, “walking by faith, and not by sight” [II Corinthians 5:7].

Now, they’re re-focused on the original destination… transformed by the detour they would never have chosen, and won’t soon forget.  Free of the financial burden of a mortgage.  And ready for whatever’s next on this journey.

====================================================

For more resources and cause for hope, visit PregnantWithHope.com

Infertility on Mother’s Day

It’s the worst:  sitting in the pew, watching as more and more women stand in response to the pastor’s annual question.  “How many of you are new mothers this year?  Please stand.  How many are mothers of two children?  Please stand.  How many mothers of three children?  Please stand – and all of you stay standing.  How many mothers of four children?  Of five?  Of six?  More than six?!  Oh my goodness gracious!”

That’s our pastor’s verbal salute to the mothers of the congregation.

In response, every year, the congregants give a round of applause.  Flowers are handed to the mother(s) with the most children, and then all the hundreds of mothers beam and look slightly embarrassed… but remain standing.  For what feels like five minutes.

I’ve noticed other women in our congregation also stand every year.  They’re the ones who do their best to slip out discreetly when they realize this is a nightmare.  Tears streaming, heads down, arms folded protectively across breaking hearts, they scoot up the side aisles – trying to escape the grief that will follow them out of the sanctuary and into the world.

It’s Mother’s Day.  And some women still aren’t mothers.

What do you say to the God who watches silently?  The God who has heard and answered the prayers of countless women – all of whom get a round of applause?  Did He hear the prayers of infertile women?  Yes?  Then why didn’t He answer?

That is the question no minister tackles on Mother’s Day:  Why, God?

No one’s willing to shatter the silence – to talk about one of the deepest, most painful secrets couples can share.  And so, the stigma that compounds suffering remains intact.  As does the unspoken consensus that infertility is a curse – or at least, the absence of a much-desired blessing.  But, why?  No one seems willing to say.

Pregnant with Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples was written to speak scripture-based, God-inspired hope into the deafening silence around infertility.  The kind of hope that has the power to transform circumstances and change lives.

Clergy have not been silent in response.  They have been unanimous in their praise:

“Beautifully written – full of excellent theology and pastoral compassion.  I wish this resource had been available for the past 30 years.”

“An incredible resource for those working to foster environments in which lives are transformed and hope is found.”

“It invites couples on a journey of hope and healing of the kind only God can give.  This is a book for struggling couples, and for those of us who love them and often don’t know what to say or do.  I’m so thankful for this resource.”

“Amazing and much-needed.”

“As a psychologist, and as a pastor for 30 years in the African-American community, I have long awaited a book like this.  It gives me a significant, practical, spiritual tool to serve couples who find themselves facing infertility.”

This Mother’s Day, give yourself the gift of answers to your most pressing questions.  Let Pregnant with Hope help you hear the voice of the God who has heard your prayers.  Once you see and understand what He is doing, in and through your infertility journey, you will find peace in the midst of uncertainty.

And one day, it will be your turn to stand when you hear, “How many of you are new mothers this year?”

========================================================

P.S. Forward this blog to your pastor, or send me his/her email and I will do so on your behalf (susan@pregnantwithhope.com).  The only way to be heard is to speak up.  Happy Mother’s Day to all the future moms!  XO, Susan

========================================================

Find more resources and cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com

Music Matters for Infertile Couples

Have you noticed that there are days when you’re unable to control negative thoughts?  When your imagination turns against you and floods your mind with “I can’t…,” “I’ll never be able to…,” “What will we do if this doesn’t…?”

Have you noticed that brushing these thoughts aside does no good?  They’re back in a split-second.  Discouraging.  Intimidating.  Harassing.  Acknowledge them and they just seem to multiply, metastasizing into other areas of your life.  In no time, the darkness that accompanies these thoughts can envelope you—causing you to feel helpless and hopeless.  Demoralized and defeated.

Do other women experience this?  Is this part of the infertility journey—this assault from within?  Is feeling under attack and unable to defend yourself from your own thoughts normal?

Yes.  Yes.  And yes.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t fight back.  You can… and you should.  How?

By shifting your focus from what you fear to whom you trust.

If that trust is rooted in your own power and control, the fear you feel is the realization that you have limitations.  Your abilities and resources are finite, and that’s not reassuring.  But if your trust is in the God who promises, “…Do not fear; I will help you,” then you have cause for hope.

How do you shift your focus to God’s faithfulness when all you can think about is test results, counting days, scheduling procedures….?  Try this.  Download and listen to “I Will Praise You in This Storm” by Casting Crowns:

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen.  And it’s still raining.
As the thunder rolls, I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
“I’m with you.”  And as Your mercy falls,
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
I’ll praise you in this storm, and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are no matter where I am.
And every tear I’ve cried, You hold in your hand.
You never left my side.  And though my heart is torn,
I will praise You in this storm.

If that helps, try their song, “The Voice of Truth.”  Or, try “Tunnel” by Third Day.  Or, “If You Want Me to” by Jenny Owen.

Consider assembling a collection of songs that acknowledge your struggle, but also express your faith in the God who walks with you.  Then, the next time you feel that familiar surge of anxiety and hear the voice of negative self-talk, take a couple minutes to reclaim your sanity and reaffirm your trust.

Listen, and regain perspective.

==================================================

Find more resources and cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com [tweetmeme source=”pregnantwhope” only_single=false]

Infertile, and Smart Like Sheep

According to an ABC News investigative report, sheep may not be as stupid as previously thought.  Conventional wisdom says sheep are the ultimate metaphor for unthinking, instinctive behavior.  But apparently, not so.  Researchers developed intelligence tests for sheep and—surprise!—they can actually learn to make good choices and work with their shepherds.

We can, too.

Infertility spurs a fair amount of unthinking, instinctive, sheep-like behavior.  For my husband and me, that meant trying to do whatever seemed to be working for absolutely everyone else.  No luck there.  So, next up:  old wives’ tales.  Still no luck.  So, we started buying ovulation predictor kits.  Did it ever occur to us that no result meant no ovulating?  Well…. truthfully?  No.  We’d stand in the bathroom staring at that stick.  “Can you see anything?”  “What does it mean if it doesn’t match the picture on the box?”  “What should we do now?”

Very sheep-like.

Not knowing what to do, we kept looking for the flock.  What was everybody else doing?  What was everybody else trying?  Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be an “everybody else.”  As far as we could tell, we were the lone lost sheep—the only ones who’d somehow wandered way off the beaten path.  We felt “…like sheep without a shepherd.”  Like there was no one to show us where to go.  What to do.  How to get answers.

Those words—“like sheep without a shepherd”—come from scripture.  They are actually a description of Jesus’ assessment of a crowd that gathered to see him.  “They were like sheep without a shepherd” [Mark 6:34].  Clueless.  “He had compassion on them,” the story continues, and “so, he began teaching them many things.”

That’s the good news.  Sheep can learn.  When they are motivated and paying attention, they can absorb relevant information.  That’s what the ABC News story reported—and many, many years prior, that’s what Jesus knew.

When infertility makes it impossible to think clearly, to find the path, to catch up with the flock that seems to be having no trouble, the shepherd is available to help.  He can teach things that enable the sheep to make good choices.  They can learn to recognize the sound of his voice, to respond when he calls, to seek him when they are lost, and to expect his help whenever they are in trouble.  They can learn to trust him.

It’s not too much to hope that we can be smart like sheep.

===================================================

Find more resources and cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com [tweetmeme source=”pregnantwhope” only_single=false]

Shatter the Silence Around Infertility

Conceiving and carrying a baby to term is difficult for some of us—but not all.  So, what does it mean to be singled-out for suffering?  The church is oddly silent when it comes to addressing this question.  Not just my church.  All churches.  They are all failing to provide insight… compassionate support… even just overt grace to those struggling to build a family.  Instead, they offer silence.

Why?

In her review of Pregnant with Hope, E.W. Carter of the Regional Council of Churches writes, “Clergy don’t even know how to talk about infertility in the 21^st century, [so] many of our faith communities are silent when confronted with the unfulfilled longing for a child.”  Essentially, she’s saying the church is silent because the clergy are clueless.

Harsh?  No offense intended, but she says it quite clearly, “They don’t even know how to talk about infertility….”  Why would that be?  There are few, if any, other topics on which the church—and those who speak for God through it—have nothing to say.  What’s the problem?

Old habits die hard.

That’s part of the problem.  For centuries, the church has been run by men.  And, for just as long, infertility has been considered a woman’s failure.  Only recently has medical research discovered that infertility is just as often caused by an issue with the prospective father’s health as with the prospective mother’s.

Now, women are in the pulpit and infertile men are in the pews.  But the church hasn’t metabolized this new reality.  No one’s teaching “How to Talk About Infertility” in divinity school.  What’s stopping that change from coming?

Supply meets demand.

That’s the other part of the problem.  No noise.  No clamor for change.  Until the silent give voice to their suffering, inertia will maintain the status quo.  So, if we want messages of hope for those struggling with infertility to make their way to the pulpit, and from the pulpit into the hearts and minds of all those who don’t yet understand the good news of God’s faithfulness—even in the midst of infertility—we’ve got to speak up.

Are you with me?

===================================================

Find more resources and cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com [tweetmeme source=”pregnantwhope” only_single=false]