I’ve spent the last several weeks — maybe longer — trying to get a clear answer from God about whether to keep investing the time and effort required to write posts for this blog three times a week. I realize it takes only a minute or two to read a post of mine. But typically, it takes 2-3 hours to write one that will be worth reading. That’s because I take this commitment very seriously. If I’m going to talk to you in the midst of a journey as emotionally-charged and completely exhausting as infertility, I don’t want to waste your time.
You may be tempted to laugh when I tell you I haven’t been able to get an answer. Sound familiar? I’ve written quite a few posts on the silence of God. Now, I guess, it’s time to remember my own advice.
I tried waiting. That didn’t get a response. Then, I waited some more. Still nothing. I tried asking for a sign. No sign came. I tried consulting people I think of as spiritual mentors. Conflicting advice left me running in circles. Finally, I consulted my friendly neighborhood psychiatrist (aka my husband). His wise words did me a lot of good. He said simply, “Maybe God’s letting you decide.”
Wow. God trusts me to make a good decision?
All right then. Here goes….
I’ve decided that writing 3x/week if I have nothing to say is pointless. Forcing a message is the equivalent of expecting you listen to ME — because if I’m working hard to come up with something new to say, the Holy Spirit isn’t speaking through me (Trust me, I can tell my voice from His).
It may be that I’ve told you everything I’ve ever understood about how God works through infertility. Or, maybe it’s time for me to spend a season at the feet of the One who loves to reveal Himself, so that I can bring you something new when I understand it more fully.
In any case, I’m making no promises about when or how often I’ll post from now on. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t find help or hope! There are literally hundreds of posts here for you to read. Search them by categories or tags to meet a specific need, or just start reading and work your way forwards or backwards. Print out whatever’s helpful — be it an entire post or a particular phrase — and keep that on your bedside table, share it with your doctor, or pass it on to a friend who’s making the same journey.
This blog is for you. This library of promises and insights is a gift of the Spirit, who is with you always. Use it to give you strength, courage, and cause for hope.
p.s. If you haven’t already read Pregnant With Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples, it will walk you through ten stages of the infertility journey — from hopeless despair to peace-full anticipation. It will also allow you to hear ten couples’ first-hand narratives about their own passage through heartache to joy. Read it, and find the inspiration to keep believing in the God who never fails those who trust Him.