“Have you ever lost a pregnancy? How did you ever recover? Did you ever feel hope again?”
Sadly, despite the frequency of miscarriages, there is virtually no public discussion about them. When you lose a baby, there is so much you want to know… but who can you ask? Who is willing to be that open and honest? That patient with deeply painful questions? And who cares enough about you to see past the fact of your loss to all the fears and feelings behind it – and your need for help and hope?
Meet Amy & Trey. They tell the story of their infertility journey in Pregnant With Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples. Here, they answer a few of the questions a miscarriage makes you wish you could ask:
Q: Have you ever lost a pregnancy?
Amy: “I had three miscarriages and two failed IVF cycles before conceiving triplets. Then, I started bleeding and we found out I’d lost two of the three. But we still had “Baby B” holding on tightly. It was a very rough pregnancy with lots of scares and bleeding along the way. At 19½ weeks, my water broke and we were forced to deliver the baby, knowing that it would not survive. We went to the hospital and delivered a little baby boy.”
Q: How did you ever recover?
Amy: “We didn’t have any friends who had gone through anything like this, but the [Pregnant With Hope] class introduced us to people going through similar circumstances. You want to compare stories and almost – as bad as it sounds – sometimes misery loves company, you know? Instead of being at a baby shower with all my friends who were experiencing blissful happiness while I had a fake smile, I could talk to people who understood what I was going through. It was a room full of unconditional love and support.”
Trey: “When we went to the first class, we went around the room and everyone told their story. Amy and I were craving other people’s stories. I didn’t have any friends who’d ever opened up about infertility, so I didn’t have anyone to talk to. It was so refreshing to be led by someone who had been through it. We immediately knew that this was genuine. And it was encouraging to talk to someone who had gotten to the other side of it.”
Q: Did you ever feel hope again?
Amy: “We did, but it would have been a lot easier if God had told me, ‘Hold on tight for three years, because the baby’s coming!’ It was the not knowing that was crushing – the starting over with no idea when it would happen. I needed to know that God had a plan and that a baby was supposed to be ours. To be able to hold on to that hope, we needed to focus on God’s faithfulness and on scripture. That’s where the messages of the class really helped.”
T: “It was helpful to talk about ‘Where is God? Why is this happening?’ I didn’t understand. Were we doing it wrong? Was it not God’s will? We were at a complete loss. One thing that resonated with me was hearing, ‘You are pregnant with hope.’ That really helped me.”
Amy and Trey went on to conceive and deliver a healthy baby boy. A year later, he had a brother. Now, they lead a Pregnant with Hope group – welcoming infertile couples into a community of support, sharing their inspiring story, and delivering messages of hope rooted in God’s truth.
The Bible says that God walks with us through difficulties – and then, He brings us alongside people facing similar challenges so that we can be there for them, just as He was there for us. That is the ministry of Pregnant With Hope.
If you have lost a baby and need the kind of love and support Amy & Trey sought — and found, read the inspiring stories in Pregnant With Hope, visit the website, and keep reading this blog. You will find the help and hope you need.
Want to hear more inspiring stories from formerly infertile couples, all of whom are now parents? Click this link….