A few days ago, I wrote about narcissistic fertility – the tendency of some “fertiles” to take pregnancy for granted, and to think of a baby primarily as an extension of themselves. It’s easy to criticize that kind of self-absorption. And, it’s tempting to think “I would never….”
The problem is: we would, and we do.
Don’t misunderstand. After the struggle and heartache of the infertility journey, I don’t believe any of us would take a baby for granted. But, I do believe that many – maybe all of us – set off on this journey believing we deserve to be parents. We want it, and we unconsciously believe we have a right to expect it.
We see the people around us conceiving effortlessly and assume, that’ll be me – pregnant and living happily-ever-after. We might never say so, but at some level, we feel entitled to that story.
Here’s the problem: that entitlement attitude puts Self at the center. It presumes that what we want is what’s best for us — because we want it. In hindsight, that seems both arrogant and a little ridiculous. The truth is, it’s simply human nature.
We tend to think of ourselves as able to make perfect plans and control our destinies… until we discover we can’t and we don’t. That’s when we start to feel confused, frustrated, and even angry.
Now, we see a clear need for God in our story – but He seems to be withholding our heart’s desire. Or worse, punishing us for something. Why can’t we conceive? And why does He insist on thwarting our plans?
Because our plan is not His plan. It’s not His best for us.
So, now what? How do we get past our emotional response to God’s “no,” and onto a path that leads to parenthood? That’s the question I was thinking about recently as I read Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To.
I wondered: Is there a prayer God always says “yes” to when infertile couples pray? If so, what is it? What makes it work? And does it always?
The good news is that there is one prayer God always answers for infertile couples. And I’m convinced the purpose of the infertility journey is to prepare us to pray it with complete sincerity of heart, mind and spirit.
In my next post, I’ll walk you through the steps of the infertility journey that prepare you to pray it. And, I’ll share the prayer itself with you. For now, I encourage you to search your heart: Have you felt entitled to a baby? Have you resented God’s apparent refusal? Have you expressed your feelings candidly to Him? Do you believe He heard you and cared, or that He rejected your words and turned away?
I encourage you to spend the next few days wrestling with these questions and answering them as honestly as you can. They’ll pave the way to the “yes” you long for when you pray the prayer God always answers.
Longing for inspiration and wisdom on the infertility journey? Read Pregnant With Hope: Good News for Infertile Couples and learn how God transforms a heartbreaking quest into life-changing good news.