This summer, I needed rest desperately. Exhausted by two years spent writing, editing, publishing, teaching and (constantly) blogging for Pregnant with Hope, I needed time to slow down, rest, and fill the well.
As I contemplated a season of true rest, a part of me worried, “What’ll happen if I stop? Will people stop reading the blog and disappear? Will book sales bottom out? Support groups die off? Site traffic slow to a trickle? If so, will all my effort have been wasted?”
With the benefit of rest-induced hindsight, I can see how I-centric that thinking was. But at the time, I was so caught up in hurry-hurry-hurry-push-push-push that I didn’t realize my initial obedience had morped into something more like obsession.
Does anything about that ring a bell?
If so, it might help you to hear what slowed me down and let me rest: a devotional book I discovered on vacation titled, God Calling. First published in 1932, this unusual little book is a series of conversational revelations – messages of hope and love given to two struggling women during a season of worry and fear by Christ himself.
The first time I picked up the book, I read,
“Rest is trust. Without the knowledge that I am working for you, you cannot rest.”
As I let those words sink deep into my spirit, I felt myself exhale for the first time since launching Pregnant with Hope. I began thinking…. Trust is an either/or. I can’t “sort of” trust people; ultimately, I trust them or I don’t. It’s the same with God.
Can I trust God? I believe so, yes. But, do I? Sometimes, without realizing it, my actions reveal to me that I’ve lost sight of God as I’ve shifted my focus to my goal. To rest in the knowledge that He is at work — in me, through me, for me — is to restore Him to His rightful place as the center of my focus.
Either I trust Him to breathe life into this ministry, to guide my steps, to take my offering and do something amazing with it — or I don’t. It’s not a feeling; it’s a choice.
Having remembered all that, I recommitted to choosing trust. To putting God at the center of this story. Right there in the middle of a Florida bookstore. And for the first time in ages, I began to rest.
It’s the same thing in a season of infertility. Either we trust God’s timing, His goodness and His purposefulness – or we don’t. If we do, we can rest. We can let go without fear of losing ground, or missing the perfect moment. If we don’t, ceaseless activity and constant worry will be the clear evidence that we’re trying to do this all ourselves.
Are you incredibly tired? Desperately in need of rest? Do you wish you could trust God enough to let go? If the answer is yes, don’t be afraid to take a breather. He won’t stop working for you – and trust me, you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel.
For more help and reasons for hope, visit PregnantWithHope.com