“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams”
– Henry David Thoreau
This is how every infertility journey starts, isn’t it? Full of confidence, we set off in the direction of the perfect pregnancy. It will happen effortlessly. At most, within a few weeks of trying. We’ll tell everyone the good news, buy lots of maternity clothes, enjoy baby showers with friends and family, have an easy delivery, and poof… have the perfect baby. What a plan!
Sort of like the perfect wedding, we’ve unconsciously come to desire — and expect — the perfect path to parenthood. Unrealistic? Infertility makes that pretty clear. Unreasonable? That’s harder to answer.
Clearly, some women do sail through pregnancy and delivery. Too often, we see them on the cover of People magazine, smiling blissfully as they enjoy their moment in the spotlight. It’s hard to look at them without wondering, “Why her and not me? Why is she blessed and I’m…” What? Cursed?
Not so fast. Maybe this detour is for a purpose.
Consider these words from Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church: “Optimism is psychological; hope is theological.” This one sentence from his recent sermon got me thinking….
Optimism is what Thoreau advocates: choose to be confident, and set out. It’s the favorite advice of all Type A’s: Go for it! You can do it! But that you-can-do-it confidence is rooted in the belief that you can do it. Infertility teaches each one of us: No, you can’t.
But God can. That’s why hope—real theological hope that is God-centered and God-focused—is more than optimism. It’s more than believing you can if you just try hard enough. It’s admitting that you can’t, but trusting that God still can. It’s acknowledging that your limitations are not His, but your dream of becoming a parent… is.
Ground yourself in this kind of confident hope, and wait expectantly. Trust that this detour is for a purpose—part of which may be teaching you humble God-reliance. God will honor your trust in His perfect timing with His very best.
Wait and see.
Find more resources and cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com