Redeeming Infertility

What does it mean when something is terrible or tragic, but God redeems it?  What happens, and what does it change?

Almost thirty years ago, Bobbi married a man who quickly became abusive.  “He made me think our problems were because I couldn’t have a baby,” she said.  She had two false pregnancies, but could not seem to conceive.  She was building up the courage to leave him when she discovered she was pregnant.  She didn’t tell her him because she didn’t want to give him another reason to follow her when she fled.

The night before she left – taking only what she could carry, and leaving the only town she’d ever known – she miscarried.

Twenty-eight years passed, and “I went through a lot of depression,” she said.  She made a life for herself taking care of other people’s children.  She never remarried, and never told a soul she’d almost had a child of her own.  For decades, she suppressed the grief of losing the child she’d wanted so badly.  She stuffed all her emotions, denying her spirit’s cries for comfort, concentrating instead on being free of a man she’d thought she loved – who showed his love by threatening and intimidating her.  But, “I got to a point where I didn’t want to try anymore.”

Then, someone gave her a copy of Pregnant with Hope.

“I read it fast, and then I read it again slow.  I cried and cried.  All these feelings came pouring out of me – like God wanted them to finally come out of hiding.  It answered a lot of questions of mine about going through trauma and wanting that baby.  I thought about how God had taken that child so my husband couldn’t hurt him, or me.  I started talking to God, and I realized He’s listening.  He’s there for me.”

Bobbi shared her story with me yesterday.  She explained, “I needed something to help me understand – but I never did find it.  There was nobody to talk to.  It helped me so much to read the book and know that other people struggle, too.”

The Bible tells us that everything matters to God.  The fact that horrible things, and hurtful people, and heartbreaking events come into our lives does not change the character of God.  He remains full of love, compassion, mercy and grace.  And, He redeems what is lost.  For Bobbi, that meant peace.  Twenty-eight years after she went into hiding, taking the secrets of her past with her, God called her back into the light.  “That book helped me get closer to God,” she said.  “I told Him, ‘you really do know how to talk to me about things.’”

The definition of redeem is, “to make good, restore, buy back, keep a promise, or exchange for something valuable.”  When God redeems an awful chapter in our lives, He does all these things.  He makes good His promise to help us, to restore our hope, to buy back our freedom from fear, to keep the promise of His faithfulness, and to exchange our suffering for joy.

He can redeem anything.  He did it for Bobbi, and He will do it for you.

Trust Him, wait and see.


Find more resources and cause for hope at

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1 Comment

Filed under Battles, Loss, Perspective

One response to “Redeeming Infertility

  1. Pingback: Life is Hard | Pregnant with Hope

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