The most consistently challenging aspect of infertility is not physical. It’s psychological. It’s the day-to-day, moment-to-moment struggle to maintain equilibrium in the face of unanswered questions. Why us? Why me? Why not? Why them? When, God? Ever?! How? Fear fuels these questions while anxiety generates adrenaline and jealousy stirs up poisonous resentment. The toxic result churns through our minds, hearts and spirits – again and again and again.
How can we find peace with so many questions?
Centuries ago, a prophet asked, “How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?” God responded, “…I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.” The prophet begged: tell me you will send help and hope. God assured him, “Though it tarries, wait for it. Because it will surely come” [Habakkuk 1:2, 1:5, 2:3].
How can that exchange help couples find peace in the midst of infertility? Three ways:
It gives us a strategy. Knowing that if we call for help, “I [God] am going to do something…,” helps us see our best option: claim that promise. We already know we can’t control our circumstances, and we struggle to control our thoughts and emotions. But, we can claim the promise that help is coming, and that gives cause for hope. Why? The Bible makes clear, God watches over His word in order to perform it. When we claim it, we call on His faithfulness to be true to His promise.
It gives us a focal point. God makes clear that there is an appointed time (known only to Him) when questions will be answered. Cries for help will cease because tangible, visible, long-awaited help will come. It is hard to wait patiently because we don’t know when that moment will be. But God promises, “…it will surely come.” So, we can choose to trust Him, looking toward that moment in time with hope and confidence.
It gives us God’s instruction. God says, “… wait for it.” Those three words tell us how to make the transition from fearful to faithful:
1. Be patient – “Wait for it” means believe there is a purpose, and trust God’s perfect timing. When we are uncertain, our tendency is often to assume the worst. But if God intends to do something so wonderful “you would not believe it, even if you were told,” then there is a good reason for waiting. The right egg? The best sperm? A new procedure? A different birth mother? Be patient; wait for it.
2. Be still – “Wait for it” means be still enough to sense God’s presence, to sense help coming, and to rest in the knowledge “I am going to do something.” When we are anxious, our tendency is to go faster – as if speed and urgency could bring us to closure sooner. They can’t. In fact, the more frantically we race around, the harder it is for us to be still. But without stillness, there can be no peace. Be still; wait for it.
3. Be expectant – “Wait for it” means anticipate God’s goodness, and expect Him to bring you His very best. When we have to wait, our tendency is to worry that time will run out and we won’t receive the blessing we desperately want. God says, “Though it tarries…,” trust me, it’s coming. My timing is perfect and my desire is to bless you. Anticipate my goodness. Be expectant; wait for it.
The path to peace has been laid out for us, and God is faithful. If you are feeling anxious, “wait for it… [and] it will surely come.”
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Find more resources and cause for hope at PregnantWithHope.com
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